Friday, August 5, 2011

Calling

Each of us has one. My passion is quite possibly very different from your passion and that's ok. If you haven't already picked up on this over the years, my passion is for women who have had or are considering an abortion. Sometimes that means talking them through the decision before they make it and other times that means talking them through their decision afterwards. I prefer to call this my ministry because it's from the heart. For a while, I got paid to do this work. But it wasn't about the money. Honestly, I got paid very little.

When I first found myself in this ministry, I might have said it happened by "accident." To make a long story short, I found myself in a Planned Parenthood clinic in Washington DC. DC and Maryland have some of the most lax abortion regulations. The room was filled with young women of various minorities. Contrary to what a supporter of "choice" might think, I was not there to do research. Though it's important to note that poor communities are targeted by abortion clincs (and also leads to the question of: Do we seek to protect the poor or exploit the poor?) Rather, I was there for personal reasons. But for this particular post, that is neither here nor there. When I walked in, I was told it was a "termination only day." Initially this rolled off my back. But as I sat in the waiting room and watched these women be filed in and out for their abortions, I could hardly believe what I was seeing. I still ask myself, "Do I really live in a country that thinks it's just A-OK to kill babies?? This is a country that's supposed to protect women's rights. When you reach into her womb, you are violating her most sacred capability. And I'll be honest...as I watch this country in economic crisis, particularly with health care, I say with confidence that until we become a country that protects human life, those who are the most vulnerable - the poor, the hungry, the sick, etc. will never be protected by this government. Plain and simple. Let me make a comparison for just a moment....when we see images of starving children, do we just sit back and say, "Hey, we should just let them die. They'd be better off. At least their suffering would end." NO! We say, "What can I DO to help?!" But then why do we say when it comes to unplanned/undesired pregnancy, "Let's just end the life...this child shouldn't have to suffer." Well, I still say the same, "What can I do to help??"

After that morning in Planned Parenthood, that's exactly what I prayed and God answered in a mighty way. Just a few short months later, I entered into the pregnancy center ministry. Though I've taken a step back for a period of time to raise my son, I know without a doubt that my calling has not changed. If anything, the fire is feuled even more. Each time I look at my son...his innocense....how perfectly he is formed.....how completely unique and individual he is.....I know that life is a miracle.

There are many babies I know I will see one day in Heaven. One in particular, and a client I grew to love and have such a bond with, will forever stand out in my mind. This young woman's child at 10 weeks was the very first time I had ever witnessed life via an ultrasound. I was stunned. That sweet baby waved back and fourth at the screen. I could hardly believe my eyes. After many conversations and tears, this young woman made the decision to go ahead with an abortion at 14 weeks. I saw her afterwards and she was broken, yet she believed it was the only way. We had many conversations. I shared with her the greatest truth of forgiveness in Christ. A few weeks later, I got the most beautiful vision that I would one day see that little one in Heaven and know him or her by name. And there will come a day when I will be able to see that sweet face and say, "I saw you. I knew you. You are human." What a wonderful reunion that will be.

You see, it is not a choice to sit back and accept that 1 in 3 women has had an abortion and millions suffer from that decision with each passing day. It's a calling to do something about it.

Today I turned on the TV and the Dr. Phil show came on. I wouldn't normally watch this show...just not my thing. But today's show was different. It was about "secret regrets." One young woman came on the show to talk through her secret regret. The regret of abortion. I sat on the floor cuddling my Casey boy as I physically ached for her. Her pain was so real and raw. She was so honest and for that I have the utmost respect. She spoke on behalf of millions of silent women. She, like so many others, thought it was her only option. I was thankful for Dr. Phil's remarks to her. To be honest, I was a bit surprised. He provided her with long-term counseling and also suggested to her that "good could come out of it." He said, "perhaps one day you will work for a crisis hotline (maybe a little shout-out to pregnancy centers?!) and help another young woman in your same position. I think what I hate the most about the abortion issue is how its become so "political." Yuck. I hate that word. Once something becomes political, it's like rolling dice. Life is no longer an absolute, it's to be questioned...messed with. What the heck. I hate you, politics! The greatest tragedy of Roe v. Wade wasn't the legalization of abortion (though still terrible) it was the mind-set it created - Such that choosing to have an abortion is really no different than trying to decide what to eat for dinner. No. Big. Deal. I care enough about women's rights that I say it is a big deal. I care enough about women's "silent suffering" in the aftermath.

I am called.

I am so grateful that I am called to stand up for women, children and men (they suffer, too.) States don't require a married woman by law to inform her legal husband of an abortion. He never has a chance. So in an effort to give women more rights, we've stolen them from men. Selah.....Whenever there's a winner, there's always a loser.

I look forward to the many more women I will come to love through this calling. There is nothing greater than seeing a wounded person find healing. I thank God he has given me Casey as a reminder of the fire he's placed within me. I pray for this nation and the impact we have on the rest of the world. I pray we become a nation who values life. For from that comes true value for health, well-being and unconditional love.

4 comments:

Gretchen said...

God has and will use you in a miraculous way! This is a beautiful post - thank you for sharing :)

The Kosturos Family said...

This is so moving and powerful!!! Thank you for doing what the lord has called you to do!!!

Darren and Caitlin said...

I was so captivated by this post, Jenny. You are amazing! Thank you for your support for women and the little boogers making their way into this world!

Anonymous said...

Wow! I'm thankful that you are called & grateful for our shared passion my dear daughter. I am praying for you as you continue to shine light in the darkness & share the healing truth of Christ's love & forgiveness. I am so proud of you!

XXOO, Mom