Monday, February 11, 2013

NOT about me...

Why is it that I still manage to convince myself sometimes that parenting is all about me? What I can do, what I can't do; what I think Casey should be or should not be doing; what my day will look like, etc. And then I get days like today to remind me that it's NOT about me. Sigh...deep breath in...deep breath out.

Casey has been waking up at about 5 a.m. lately. It seems that it just keeps getting earlier and earlier. On the bright side, he'll stay in his crib talking to himself until 7. I know, crazy right? I mean, what on EARTH is he doing?? Talking to his teddy bears, i'm sure. He has one named "Buckley" whom he got for Christmas. Poor Buckley already has one arm falling off. Casey LOVES Buckley and we often catch him chatting away with him. It's pretty cute. But, 5 a.m. wake ups?? Not cute, son.

Oh. And guess what earlier wake-up's mean? They mean a cranky, emotional 20 month old by 10 a.m. Today I realized that I was frustrated with him for really stupid reasons. For instance, I was grumbling to myself that it makes me feel exhausted when he's grumpy by 10 a.m. It NEVER OCCURED TO ME that my son might just need to lay down for a morning nap. Since Casey was about 13 months, he's been only take one long nap a day in the afternoon. We'll eat lunch around noon and then he'll go down around 12:45 and sleep until 2:30 or sometimes as late as 3:30. Case is a very active child so he's worn out by the time he lays down! I guess I just get so caught up in the awesomeness of this routine that this morning, it truly inconvenienced me that he was so grumpy. I ended up giving him lunch at 11 in which he ate all of two bites before throwing it on the floor. I'd had about enough, so I took him right out of his chair and put him to bed. He was out in minutes.

So thus brings me to where i'm at now - Drinking a very full mug of "humble tea." Parenting certainly sharpens me. It also reveals my own personal short-comings. But i'm actually glad it does. I need it!

I'm learning that I need to be OK with a schedule change. I'm also learning that my son's needs can only be met by me. WHOA. Huge, but incredibly wonderful responsibility! He's totally dependent on me. Today he needed a morning nap and I need to respond better to his cues. Tomorrow, he might still wake up at 5 a.m. and be fine until his usual nap time. Who knows?? Life with a toddler is so unpredictable and sure is a wild ride!

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