While You Were Sleeping

During Casey's 2.5 afternoon nap, I made this! I've been looking around for just the right blue-beaded nacklace for months now. Everything I found was either not quite right or too expensive. So I walked up to The Potomac Bead Company today on King Street and bought all the things I needed to create my own necklace. I've discovered that jewelry making might just be my new crafting obsession! After a quick tutorial from the store saleswoman, I whipped this up in about 25 minutes at home. It's a good thing it was a quick DIY project because Casey woke up screaming about 2 minutes after its completion! Tis life! :)

P.S. I really need a better camera. And speaking of cameras, I'm eyeing this even though it would be just for fun. Who doesn't LOVE instant pictures?!

Three Months!

Holy smokes! We have a THREE month old in da house! I feel like a broken record, but time sure flies. It's true! But we fall more and more in love with Case every single day. He cracks us up all the time with his sweet smiles and coos. He talks to me while I nurse him now. It melts this mama's heart! He will often look up at me inbetween sucks and just coo away with smiles, then he goes back to his grubbin' business. It's adorable.

Also, his latest thing is that he really grabs now! Just last week he did this:

On Friday, he grabbed his burp cloth and pulled it up over his face a few times. I got so excited! You gotta enjoy each and every little thing as a parent. It's all so special!

His cry no longer sounds like a newborn, but more like a baby. Anyone who has children knows exactly what i'm talking about. It's bittersweet to watch our handsome boy grow up! Each new phase brings new joy, but it also comes at the cost of leaving things behind. He is most certainly not a "little" baby anymore. He just weighed in at almost 13 lbs. this past week! But in many ways, he will ALWAYS be my baby (even when he's 40!) Our life was truly so dull without him...we just didn't know it at the time. :) Case is a very, very smiley baby. He likes to smile with his mouth wide open just like his daddy did when he was a baby.

He was supposed to have his first plane ride experience, but plans took a huge turn. I think most people know now that we're moving to San Antonio Texas! Aaron took a promotion with his engineering firm and their main office is located there. We should have been there for the holiday weekend looking for a rental house, but there was a terrible accident on the way to the airport and we missed our flight. We literally sat on the freeway for hours. I feel awful for whoever was involved, but the timing of everything couldn't have been worse. Southwest said we could fly on stand-by the next day for free, but we would have to be on stand-by out of Baltimore then again at a connection before getting to San Antonio. There was just no way we were gonna do this with a baby on a holiday weekend, especially if we got stuck in some random place unable to get a connection. There's literally no other time we can fly out before we actually move, so now we're working with an agent to apply for a rental sight-unseen. I'm not at all thrilled about this because it was really important to me that we familiarize ourselves a bit with area and find a place we felt safe in. Aaron will be traveling one week out of each month with his company. But, for reasons we may never know, God clearly didn't want us in Texas this weekend.

Casey will now have his first plane ride experience when just he and I fly out to Seattle on the 22nd of September to visit family for two weeks. Aaron's mom is flying down from Alaska so we are SO excited to have this time with everyone before our big move! Pray for me though - I'm honestly nervous about a 5 hour flight by myself with the little man! Plane rides make me anxious anyway. But i'm sure we'll be just fine.

5 Billion Uses

I love coconut oil and I use it A LOT. Maybe not quite for 5 billion things, but I swear it can be used in so many different, healthy ways! You can find a variety of uses and health benefits in this blog. I can't confirm it works for all of these things, but I found this list quite interesting!

Currently, I use coconut oil mostly for cooking (super healthy - Thanks Kristine for introducing me to its foody greatness!) as well as for daily moisturizing. Yes, I most certainly lather straight up coconut oil all over my body! Now before you think "EWWW!" don't knock it 'til you try it! Contrary to what many might think, coconut oil goes on the skin quick and easy and you only need a small amount. The best part is that it leaves your skin feeling SILKY rather than oily -- I promise!! An added bonus is that your skin smells tropical (I prefer to pretent i'm on a private island drinking a margarita while being fanned by my own cabana boy). But seriously, I love this stuff. I also use it as my facial moisturizer. No breakouts. I keep a jar on the counter in my bathroom. Whole Foods sells it in a mason-style jar, so I just peeled the label off and now it looks like part of my bathroom decor! I paid only $6.99 for 14 oz. This jar will last you a loooong time. I love that I can dip into the same jar for a number of different reasons and that it's all natural. I can hardly believe all the crap that's in lotions and cosmetic nowadays. Yuck! Give coconut oil a try!

Ooh, we better wash that.

No caption needed, really. May I add that those are Aaron's favorite shorts? He wears them over and over again until I sneak them off the floor and wash them. Oh, I love boys.

And since we're on the topic of diapers, we're getting ready to test out some cloth ones. We've decided on the Ecobums. I hope we like them! We're still not sure if cloth diapering is for us, but how do you know unless you try? I'm already tired of spending so much moolah on disposables! Now that Case is almost 3 months and not pooping 10 times a day, it seems like the right time to enter the cloth world. I'll also be using bamboo wipes. Fingers crossed!

Thankful

We had such a scary event with Casey the other morning. We woke up early on Friday around 5:45 to him thrashing around in his bassinet. I quickly jumped to my feet and leaned over him to discover that he couldn't take a breath. I could hardly believe what I was seeing, but my adrenaline kicked in and I quickly picked him up (still in his swaddle blanket) and threw him face down on the bed. I had to pat his back for the longest approximate 10 seconds of my entire life until he finally took a big breath of air. Aaron and I were both absolutely stunned. I will never forget the look of terror on Casey's face. His eyes were almost popping out of his head and he had spit coming out of his mouth and mucous coming from both sides of his nose. To be honest, we both looked at each other afterwards and said, "Could he have just had a seizure?!" We just didn't know what to think. I felt like I had just ran a marathon, the way my heart was pounding!With tears still all over his face, Casey calmed down, looked at me and flashed the most adorable smile. It melted me and made me cry all at the same time. This mama was so scared! But it was almost like he was saying, "I'm OK, Mama!" I fed him and he fell back asleep for a bit and then I called the pediatricians office as soon as they opened. Looking back, I wish I would have just called the on-call doctor. They told me to go to the ER for some tests just to rule out anything serious. So we made the drive to the ER in Fairfax where they have a pediatric emergency room. I was pretty amazed. Everything was so pint-sized! I snapped a few pictures on my phone but I'm not sure I can upload them to the computer. The blood pressure cuff was so tiny and they even had me put an infant hospital gown on him. It was so precious and pitiful all at the same time. Casey was such a champ...all the doctors and nurses loved him and kept saying how cute and sweet he was. I couldn't agree more!! He only cried when they gave him an IV to draw blood. He was so, so good! Praise God all the tests came back normal. There were absolutely no signs pointing towards a seizure (no lethargy, muscle weakness, etc.) The final diagnosis is that he has an acid reflux problem, so he's now on an antibiotic. They say he most likely aspirated stomach acid into his lungs and had trouble clearing it. They also said he most likely would have eventually cleared it on his own. We're trying not to play the "what if" game. We can only hope and pray that it never happens again. It was absolutely terrifying.

We cuddle and squeeze and kiss our Case-Man all the time, but we hold him just a bit tighter after all that happened. We are so thankful for his health. He is our treasure! We are also thankful beyond words for all of the prayers from friends and family!

How Do I Explain?

How do I explain just how much I love my boy? There are no words that do it justice. I don't get to style my hair or do my make-up much anymore. I rarely get a shower before noon and my body isn't nearly as "fit" as it used to be, but I'm happier than I've ever been. My entire heart and life are forever changed! I love you, Casey Lowell Meredith!

Calling

Each of us has one. My passion is quite possibly very different from your passion and that's ok. If you haven't already picked up on this over the years, my passion is for women who have had or are considering an abortion. Sometimes that means talking them through the decision before they make it and other times that means talking them through their decision afterwards. I prefer to call this my ministry because it's from the heart. For a while, I got paid to do this work. But it wasn't about the money. Honestly, I got paid very little.

When I first found myself in this ministry, I might have said it happened by "accident." To make a long story short, I found myself in a Planned Parenthood clinic in Washington DC. DC and Maryland have some of the most lax abortion regulations. The room was filled with young women of various minorities. Contrary to what a supporter of "choice" might think, I was not there to do research. Though it's important to note that poor communities are targeted by abortion clincs (and also leads to the question of: Do we seek to protect the poor or exploit the poor?) Rather, I was there for personal reasons. But for this particular post, that is neither here nor there. When I walked in, I was told it was a "termination only day." Initially this rolled off my back. But as I sat in the waiting room and watched these women be filed in and out for their abortions, I could hardly believe what I was seeing. I still ask myself, "Do I really live in a country that thinks it's just A-OK to kill babies?? This is a country that's supposed to protect women's rights. When you reach into her womb, you are violating her most sacred capability. And I'll be honest...as I watch this country in economic crisis, particularly with health care, I say with confidence that until we become a country that protects human life, those who are the most vulnerable - the poor, the hungry, the sick, etc. will never be protected by this government. Plain and simple. Let me make a comparison for just a moment....when we see images of starving children, do we just sit back and say, "Hey, we should just let them die. They'd be better off. At least their suffering would end." NO! We say, "What can I DO to help?!" But then why do we say when it comes to unplanned/undesired pregnancy, "Let's just end the life...this child shouldn't have to suffer." Well, I still say the same, "What can I do to help??"

After that morning in Planned Parenthood, that's exactly what I prayed and God answered in a mighty way. Just a few short months later, I entered into the pregnancy center ministry. Though I've taken a step back for a period of time to raise my son, I know without a doubt that my calling has not changed. If anything, the fire is feuled even more. Each time I look at my son...his innocense....how perfectly he is formed.....how completely unique and individual he is.....I know that life is a miracle.

There are many babies I know I will see one day in Heaven. One in particular, and a client I grew to love and have such a bond with, will forever stand out in my mind. This young woman's child at 10 weeks was the very first time I had ever witnessed life via an ultrasound. I was stunned. That sweet baby waved back and fourth at the screen. I could hardly believe my eyes. After many conversations and tears, this young woman made the decision to go ahead with an abortion at 14 weeks. I saw her afterwards and she was broken, yet she believed it was the only way. We had many conversations. I shared with her the greatest truth of forgiveness in Christ. A few weeks later, I got the most beautiful vision that I would one day see that little one in Heaven and know him or her by name. And there will come a day when I will be able to see that sweet face and say, "I saw you. I knew you. You are human." What a wonderful reunion that will be.

You see, it is not a choice to sit back and accept that 1 in 3 women has had an abortion and millions suffer from that decision with each passing day. It's a calling to do something about it.

Today I turned on the TV and the Dr. Phil show came on. I wouldn't normally watch this show...just not my thing. But today's show was different. It was about "secret regrets." One young woman came on the show to talk through her secret regret. The regret of abortion. I sat on the floor cuddling my Casey boy as I physically ached for her. Her pain was so real and raw. She was so honest and for that I have the utmost respect. She spoke on behalf of millions of silent women. She, like so many others, thought it was her only option. I was thankful for Dr. Phil's remarks to her. To be honest, I was a bit surprised. He provided her with long-term counseling and also suggested to her that "good could come out of it." He said, "perhaps one day you will work for a crisis hotline (maybe a little shout-out to pregnancy centers?!) and help another young woman in your same position. I think what I hate the most about the abortion issue is how its become so "political." Yuck. I hate that word. Once something becomes political, it's like rolling dice. Life is no longer an absolute, it's to be questioned...messed with. What the heck. I hate you, politics! The greatest tragedy of Roe v. Wade wasn't the legalization of abortion (though still terrible) it was the mind-set it created - Such that choosing to have an abortion is really no different than trying to decide what to eat for dinner. No. Big. Deal. I care enough about women's rights that I say it is a big deal. I care enough about women's "silent suffering" in the aftermath.

I am called.

I am so grateful that I am called to stand up for women, children and men (they suffer, too.) States don't require a married woman by law to inform her legal husband of an abortion. He never has a chance. So in an effort to give women more rights, we've stolen them from men. Selah.....Whenever there's a winner, there's always a loser.

I look forward to the many more women I will come to love through this calling. There is nothing greater than seeing a wounded person find healing. I thank God he has given me Casey as a reminder of the fire he's placed within me. I pray for this nation and the impact we have on the rest of the world. I pray we become a nation who values life. For from that comes true value for health, well-being and unconditional love.

Big Boy!

Our sweet Casey boy is two months today! I know I sound like every other new mom out there, but I truly can hardly believe how fast he's growing up. He's learning new things every day. Today we had his two-month check-up and he weighs 10 lbs. 11 oz! He's still only in the 15th percentile, but still growing steadily. He's also officially wearing 3 months clothing and can only wear a few outfits that are 0-3 months. He got a few vaccines today and it was a bit traumatizing...for ME that is! It just breaks my heart. He was super smiley and happy at the entire appointment and then - BAM - those darn shots! I may or may not have cried when I told Aaron about it after he got home from work. I'll give a run-down here of his likes and dislikes:

Likes:

-His paci (Actually, this might belong in the "obsessed" category.) That'll be a fun habit to break!
-Being held
-Being sung to. His favorite is when I sing him a song that goes "Hey beautiful boy. Mommy loves you, she loves you. Most beautiful boy, in the whole wide world." It's supposed to be "girl" but of course I changed those lyrics. ;)
-Tummy sleeping. The pediatrician has warned me about this, but I only let him do it right now during naps. He's still a back sleeper at night until he can roll over sometime in the next two months.
-EATING! My goodness, this boy can eat. He nurses at least 7 times each day (and still at night...sigh....) and he scarfs it down in about 10 minutes. No messing around here.
-Standing - He's a very strong little guy!
-Being outside - He's not too fond of the stroller sometimes, but as soon as we get outside he's perfectly content.
-His Daddy! Case looooves Aaron. I know he loves me too, but right now I think it's because he knows I feed him! With Aaron, he just sits and stares at him, becomes calm as soon as Aaron holds him, and typically falls asleep too. However, he will not sleep for his mommy very often. Stinker.
-Skyping - I think he's fascinated by the colors and movement on the computer.
-Taking baths
-Swaddling arms out

Dislikes:

-Sleeping on his back
-Having his diaper changed. I often say to him while he's screaming, "Really?? You don't want me to clean your poopy butt?!"
-Getting out of the bath. Hates. It.
-When I leave the room. He notices now!
-Swaddling arms in - This, I have to say, is the fault of the hospital. They said it was "better for his development" to have his arms out. Now I feel like calling them and inviting them over at 2 a.m. when my child has startled himself out of a deep sleep. GRRR.
-Napping (but only with his frustrated mama!)

He's now smiling a ton and starting to make noises when he smiles, too. I'm thinking we might get a laugh out of him very soon! He's definitely found his voice. He coos quite a bit and we, of course, think it's the darn cutest thing ever!

Aaron and I are having so much fun with this kid. Aaron always says, "I just love him!" whenever he's holding him. I couldn't agree more!

Melt-Down

Mama said there'd be days like these.....

Case has decided to boycot his naps today. It's now 1:30 and he hasn't slept since he woke up at 9 a.m. this morning. I've tried it all....changing, feeding, rocking, paci............AHHHhh. Poor baby. I just don't know what else to do, so i'm currently letting him sit in his bouncy seat and cry. I feel like a terrible mother. But what more can I try?? He is beyond.tired. I'm sitting here crying while he cries. It's a sight to see. Somehow blogging seemed appropriate while I attempt to keep my sanity.

Sincerely,
-A new mommy who just wants to take a shower.

Say HI!!

I'm just missing my grandparents and wanted to say hello! Love you!

A Wedding and a Tough Decision

Today my dearest, best college friend is getting married in California. Today I am sitting in my living room in Virginia writing this. I'm fighting back the tears to even make this post! I was supposed to be there, in the wedding, but Aaron and I made the difficult decision that it was just too much for me to go out there with Casey so soon after his birth. There are many reasons we came to this decision. I know I've disappointed my sweet friend, but I don't think anyone could possibly be more disappointed than I am. Bre and I have walked with each other through so many life experiences, it feels surreal that I'm missing quite possibly the most important one. Life is full of tough decisions, but that doesn't mean it gets easier to make them.

Bre, I love you and I pray blessings over your special day. You are so dear to my heart. Cheers to this beautiful new start! xoxo

Packin' on the Lb's!

We had Casey's One-Month check-up today and he went from 7 lbs. 3 oz. to almost 9 lbs. in just about two weeks. We can hardly believe it! I'm exclusively breast feeding and things are going very well! We have quite the eater on our hands. So while he's working on gaining, I on the other hand am working on losing. I had my first two mile run since being pregnant. I ran a half marathon when I was 4 weeks along (didn't know I was growing a baby yet!) and let me tell you, two miles felt H-E-double hockey sticks. How does that happen?! Someday i'll get back in shape, but this experience is so worth it! Casey is truly a gift and we love him to pieces! I can hardly believe we already have a one-month old!

Lovin' My Boy!

We took Case to his first baseball game at Nationals Stadium the other night. The Mariners are in town, but sadly they've lost both their games so far. We still had fun though! Casey is such a chill little guy. He sat through 7 innings of the baseball game and didn't let out a single cry. He fell asleep on Aaron at about 8 p.m. and stayed that way until we got home at 10:30 and I fed him.

At this point, he gets up to eat 2-3 times a night. Sometimes he'll go as much as 4 hours before wanting to eat again, but this is still a rare occurance. I know it'll get better as he gets older! For the most part i've been feeling pretty good even with the lack of sleep. I'm starting to adjust to the demands! But I will say that today i'm painfully tired.

He continues to eat like a champ! I am so fortunate that he latched great from the day he was born and my milk supply came in full when he was just 3 days old. Nursing was tough at first - and still has its challenges - I finally broke down and starting using a shield, but then I couldn't get him to latch without it! So I went to see the amazing lactation specialist at his pediatricians office and of course, he latched right away while she was watching. Little stinker! She said it happens all the time. I laughed and said he was a show-off. So now i'm able to nurse him without the shield (or with it if necessary) which is great! All of that to say, I've realized that you have to just stick it out with nursing even when it down right hurts and you really just want to quit and start giving the kid a bottle! I'm hoping I can nurse him full-time for 6 months and then quit completely after 12 months. That's my goal!

Case's weight gain is great, too! When we left the hospital, he was 5 lbs, 12 oz and then at 3 days old he was back up almost to his birth weight (6.5). At his 2 week appointment he was 6.14 and then on Tuesday of this week (just 4 days later) he was already at 7.3! My little champ! It's hard to believe I already have a 3 WEEK OLD! These 3 weeks have flown by it seems. It truly is amazing how quickly a baby changes, so i'm soaking up every single second! I am SO grateful that i'm able to stay home full time and watch him as he grows. I don't take it for granted at all! I'm sitting here as I type listening to him make little noises (and fill his pants...HAHA!) and I can hardly put to words how much I love him.

Baby Casey is here!

Casey Lowell Meredith (after my dad) 6 lbs, 5 oz and 19 inches of perfect love!

I'm so excited to make this post because we've been waiting! Baby Casey arrived on Friday, 3 June at exactly 11:45 a.m. On Thursday night, I was feeling funny so I went to bed around 10 p.m. I told Aaron I was frustrated because I felt like I needed to pee every 10 minutes - I was feeling so much pressure! I got up out of bed after I had only been laying down for about 15 minutes and I felt something trickling down my leg. I quickly realized that my water was leaking. I yelled out to Aaron, "Babe, I think i'm in labor! It's happening!" Within a few minutes I was feeling strong contractions about 7 minutes apart. I called the doctor on call and he said to go ahead and come into the hospital because they needed to give me antibiotics (for being GBS positive - no big deal though). Aaron wanted to stop by his office to see if he could pick up his work computer since he obviously wouldn't be going into work the next day. By the time we got to his office just a few miles away, I was in a lot of intense pain and I said, "My contractions feel really close....is it all supposed to happen this fast?" Contractions had gone from 7 minutes to about 5 minutes apart in less than a half hour. They got so strong that about 10 minutes from the hospital I made Aaron pull to the side of the road to let me pee. I could NOT hold it! And yes, I really did pee right along a side-walk....and an elementary school. Such a fine moment.

Once at the hospital, they checked me into my room and had me put a gown on. That's when my water completely broke. Once that happened, things really picked up even more. Within the next half hour or so, my contractions were about 2 minutes apart. After having zero relief for a bit, I opted for an epidural and do not feel bad about it. In fact, Aaron and I were both able to sleep for a few hours that night. So at midnight I was 4 centimeters, by 3 a.m. I was around 5, by 7 a.m. I was at 8 and by 9 a.m. I was a full 10! My mom had hopped a red eye flight from Seattle and got to the hospital right around 9. By 10 a.m. I was feeling enough pressure to start pushing. I had the most incredible nurse named Kim who made the experience so wonderful! Aaron and my mom were a huge help too. And to top it off, my most favorite OB happened to be on call (I had prayed for this!) So after only 1.5 hours of pushing, our sweet baby Case was out and in my arms! It was such an incredible experience! I could hardly believe I was holding him and seeing his face. By far the best moment of my life! It's almost surreal to Aaron and I that this little person is part of us. And only about 12 hours of labor, start to finish- I think that was the Lord's mercy on me for having such a rough pregnancy!


Now we are home getting used to our new life! So far, Case is a great sleeper and eater. My milk supply came in after only 3 days. Nursing is one of the most challenging things I've ever done, but i'm so thankful that my body is cooperating so that I can do it. I really enjoy our mommy/baby time and we're getting better at it with each new day. My mom has been such a HUGE help. Aaron has been able to work since she's here and we honestly don't know what we'd do without her!


Aaron is the most incredible daddy and is loving his new son. They're so cute together when they cuddle. I'm already seeing a new, even softer side of my beloved husband. It's so wonderful!! We couldn't be happier. We thank God for blessing us the way he has!

39 Weeks....Whew!

Alright, so no picture this week, just an update! I saw my OB today and we've made more progress since last week. I'm 2 cm dialated and almost completely thinned out now (I was 90 percent effaced with less than 1/2 cm dialation last week). Dr. Anderson asked me about my contractions. My response was, "Hmmm....what contractions??" I say this because all I've really had is a ton of pressure downstairs and lots of painful menstrual-like cramping. She was surprised at my response because she said she could feel his head and in her words, "If this kid drops anymore, he'll fall right out!" Wow, wouldn't it be nice if labor could be that easy! Ahhh, now I have this Beach Boys song stuck in my head. Boy, I sure get distracted easily.

Anyway, I think this stage is rather frustrating because 2 cm could mean a lot, or very little. I could stay this way for another week....or TWO! Yikes. I've decided that this little guy is very much like his daddy - super chill with the patience of a SAINT. No joke. Aaron's amazing like that. I, on the other hand, don't even pray for patience because God sits up there on His Throne of Glory laughing at me (i'm sure.)

Well, I think i'll go take a long walk in this 90 degree, humid weather in hopes of dehydrating myself and starting contraction. Ok, JOKING about the dehydration part, but I admit i'm kinda curious about contractions so I hope they start. Yes, I will be retracting that statement once they're in full swing. And yes, I'll probably hit someone in the face. Hopefully you won't be the one in my way! ;)

38 Weeks - Are we done yet?!

Birthday dinner - Please excuse my terrible posture!

The anxiety is starting to set in. When will he get here? How much longer will I be pregnant, uncomfortable, tired, cranky, etc.?? I'm thankful i'm one of the lucky few who hasn't had ANY heart burn. But the backpain, pressure and cramping are making me look like i'm 90 years old when I walk around! I feel pretty yucky, but i'm hangin' in there. I think my biggest fear at this point isn't the labor, it's finding myself still pregnant at 42 weeks. That would mean 4 more weeks from now! I need to stop thinking that way!

So, let's talk about something HAPPY! Monday was my 27th Birthday and Aaron treated me to a romantic dinner at our favorite Italian place. It really reminds us of Italy. The food is all made from scratch and the Italian family who owns it has been running it for many, many years. We've had really hot, humid weather and it was storming a bit the night we went to dinner, but we still decided to sit outside at a table under an umbrella. The rain and the experience reminded us of our favorite night in Venice Italy almost two years ago. Aaron surprised me with a prenatal massage which I've already booked for next week (trying to stay busy!) I have the world's most wonderful husband! It was a bit strange to think that it was my last birthday without a baby! But we're ready for it. Come on little guy! We want to see you!

My next OB appointment is on Friday, so they'll finally be checking me to see the progress i've made...if any. Saying our prayers!

37 Weeks!

Aaron with his fish - getting his "fix" before our baby boy makes his appearance!
Sam (Aaron's brother) and our buddy Stan

From what i've been reading, apparently 37 weeks is "technically" full-term. So can I say that we've arrived?! But I have a feeling this child is not coming out just yet. :) A few of my doctors have said he could come as late as June 11 because he measured slightly different on two early first trimester ultrasounds. Can they ever really know for sure?! I don't think so. I'm actually A-OK with it because i've already come this far....what's 3 more (or perhaps more!) weeks?? But I must say, this stage of the pregnancy is d-r-a-g-g-i-n g.....on......and......ON! There is nothing like the anticipation of seeing your first born's face - i'm convinced! What will he look like? Will he be even HALF as handome as Aaron?? Will he have dark hair? No hair? Curly hair? What will he weigh? What will it be like to touch his fingers and toes for the first time?? I could go on and on but I think you get the picture.

I'm feeling pretty good for the most part. The baby is quite crowded, so i've been feeling a lot of discomfort on my pressure points and it knocks the wind out of me! I talked to the doctor on the phone about this and he said they may want to check those pressure points (not sure what that means, but maybe i'll find out tomorrow at my check-up). He is still moving regularly, but very slowly. I'm curious how he's positioned - though I know he's head down - because I never feel his feet kicking. I'm wondering if his legs are stretched out sideways instead of up?! So many questions!

I've continued to have "bouts" of morning sickness....oy. But I guess you could say i'm used to it now! Sad, isn't it? I haven't had any further signs of labor other than the usual cramping i've had since 34 weeks and a lot of pressure "downstairs" but for those who have had babies, I haven't yet experienced the other tell-tale signs of labor being on the horizon. I had one HUGE contraction a few nights ago. I thought for a moment it might have been the real thing. It wrapped around my entire lower back and stomach and was down-right PAINFUL! But it lasted about 20-30 seconds, went away and never returned...hmmmm.

Our fun May visitors have come and gone now. Aaron's brother Sam was here for about a week and the guys got a lot of fishing time in! Then Aaron's mom came to see us and just left yesterday. We loved having them both here! So now you can imagine me sitting around wondering what the heck to do with these last few weeks! Not so fun! But on the bright side, my 27th Birthday is next week, so i'm hoping for a romantic night out on the town.

Baby boy Meredith will be here before we know it!

But baby, what will we do?

Our worship pastor sang a song during our mother's day service yesterday and let me tell you, HOLY EMOTIONAL ME! Our pastor was preaching on the book of Proverbs and the importance of chapter 22, verse 6: "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." I think the reality that our son will learn from all we say and do is such a monumental responsibility! I know it might sound silly since i'm still pregnant (currently 36 weeks) but I know time will fly! First, I want to cherish all the moments when he's small and snuggly because I know the day may come when he's 14 and disinterested in my kisses and cuddles. And right now it may seem far off, but perhaps sooner than I think the day will come when he's married and having babies of his own. The best thing Aaron and I can do for him is to teach and direct him so that he can go out on his own to impact the world for good.

Aaron and I have a prayer for him that will eventually hang in his nursery. A good friend of our family painted a picture (a watercolor! Watch the video/song and you'll know why this is so fitting!) with the prayer on it:

*For Your Salvation: to have a place in the kingdom
*For godly character: to be a credit to the kingdom
*To become a servant of others: to be used to promote the kingdom

Above all other things, we pray he loves Jesus, but more importantly that he knows how much Jesus loves him. And also that he will have a heart for the world and desire to love ALL of God's human creation.

I actually grew up listening to this song in the 80's - gotta love the early Christian music movement! But it never meant much to me until now. The video is pretty old, so hopefully you can look past the rockin' hair do's and outfits from that era (or perhaps you're like me and still in love with it!) Either way, enjoy...and grab a tissue!

Watercolor Ponies by Wayne Watson

There are watercolor ponies on my refrigerater door
And the shape of something I don't really recognize
Drawn by careful little fingers and put proudly on display
A reminder to us all of how time flies

Seems an endless mound of laundry
And a stairway laced with toys
Gives a blow by blow reminder of the war
That we fight for their well-being
For their greater understanding
To impart a holy reverance for the Lord

But, baby, what will we do
When it comes back to me an you?
They look a little less like little boys every day
Oh, the pleasure of watching the children growing is mixed with a bitter cup
Of knowing the watercolour ponies will one day ride away

And the vision can get so narrow
As you view through your tiny world
And little victories can go by with no applause
But in the greater evaluation
As they fly from your nest of love
May they mount up with wings as eagles for His cause

What Do You Do?

What do you do when you search around for a cute laundry bag for your kid's clothes and all the hampers you find are too big, cheap-looking, not cute, etc.?? Well, you make one! I snagged this adorable fabric off Amazon.com (yes, I LOVE Amazon and pretty much buy everything from them) and made this laundry bag for just under $10. It's perfect! I'm really into the elephants and giraffes for this kid. We'll see when we go to actually decorate a nursery at some point if the theme sticks! Also, I had to show everyone a picture of his bed/stroller and diaper bag. I might have gone with a "cutesy" bag but thought better of it once I reminded myself that Aaron would NEVER hold or carry a cute bag for me. So, my decision came with alterior motives. :) Go Huskies!!

And here we are....35 weeks!

35 Weeks....

I really want to post a picture, but I just don't have the energy to do it! I'm still waiting on some test results from my OB to make sure they diagnosed my infection correctly. In the mean-time, they told me to stay on bed rest. I've been feeling a lot of nausea off and on again for about the past week or so. It feels just like my earlier pregnancy morning sickness. This morning, I threw up while eating breakfast. I just feel DONE! Sorry I sound like a complainer....I know i'm being a complainer right now.....but this pregnancy thing is not for the faint of heart and it's feeling extra tough today. I've spent most of the last 8 months now feeling like I have a flu bug. :(

I'm feeling so ready and anxious to meet this little boy who is our son. I'm already so in love with him and I just want to look in wonder at his beautiful face! And i'll admit, i'd like to shed this pregnancy feeling too!!

My OB ran some test last week to determine if i'd go into labor within the next two weeks. She called and said it came back negative, so I guess we're in the "clear" for at least another 1.5 weeks. I have no clue how they can test for that! Pretty amazing I guess. Anyway, baby boy and I would love your prayers over the next few weeks. I know his birth date is in God's hands, not mine or anyone elses.

I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.....

Bed Rest

I just got back from an OB appointment and am actually having some signs of pre-term labor, so i've been put on bed rest to see if it helps. Turns out (sorry...TMI) I have some sort of bacterial infection that has caused my cervix to soften quite a bit and I started having contractions last night - No wonder I was up for 3 hours in the wee hours of the morning! I had back pain and just felt AWFUL last night, so I crawled into bed around 9:15. Then I woke up with menstrual-like cramping at midnight. It was a good thing I mentioned it at my appointment today because I had kinda written it off for some reason.

Although i'm only 34 weeks, the doctor says not to worry because she's hoping the bed rest and prescription will calm things down. Though she said she thinks I may not make it past the end of May. Don't wanna get my hopes up, only God knows! But this kid really does need to stay in and strengthen his lungs for even a few more weeks. It's hard to believe we could actually have him any day!

The good news is that I put on about 3-4 more lbs. (my mom fed us well when she was here!) and our boy's head is down, so he's getting ready. :) Such a good boy!

Better Than I Deserve

Couples baby shower BBQ!

My wonderful parents

We're on the home-stretch! I'm 34 weeks today and feeling pretty good....better than I deserve! My feet have been swelling a bit in the evenings, so i'm trying to take it easy these days. My parents flew back home after spending about a week with us. It was SO WONDERFUL. I love my parents. They're just a ton of fun and so loving. My mom cooked meals almost every night and made extra to put in our freezer for after the baby is born. My dad fixed our wireless printer (hooray!) and tracked down floor mats for our new Pilot which will come in handy for Aaron's fishing trips. It's much easier to clean mats than carpet! And then I joked about how if this kid is anything like me, he'll get car sick a lot and it'll be easier to clean up puke, too. Ha! I cannot express how thankful I am for them! It was hard to say goodbye yesterday, of course. It gets "easier" being so far away, but it's always just as hard to say goodbye after our visits together. But they'll be back in about a month! My mom plans to be out here for the delivery (we'll see when!) and my dad will fly out right after the little guy is born. My dad and I were saying how strange it is to think that the next time we see each other, we'll be holding our boy! I can't wait.

Our neighbors threw us a couples baby shower BBQ. What a great idea! The weather was beautiful and we were reminded, yet again, how COMPLETELY BLESSED we are to have the friends we do. With Easter being this past weekend, I spent one evening just thanking God for who He is and how He has blessed us. I was filled with so much joy from simply having a heart of thankfulness....i'm thankful for Salvation and that I'm completely loved and forgiven, I have the best husband - He's more than I could have ever dreamed of and he'll be the BEST dad in the world. And my friend Erica wrote in a card to us that she loves being a mom so much that she even loves the sleep depravation (even when it's really hard!) I know that might seem hard to wrap your mind around, but reading that was so encouraging to me! I will never take for granted the gift of being a mom and will be forever grateful for it. I'm even thankful for the little things - Like when "junior" tries to stick his elbow through my skin. ;) His movements are getting very wild! Not painful, just very noticeable - almost "alien-like" but actually very human! I love him so, so much.

Can we say...

HUGE!? We're at 32 weeks and getting antsy! Thank goodness I have so much to look forward to between now and when little "junior" arrives. Today I had an amazing pedicure, courtesy of my awesome, sweet co-workers at the pregnancy center, Saturday my parents come to visit us for just over a week, and then in May Aaron's brother and mom come to see us. YAY! I love having people in town. I also hopped on a scale today and discovered that i've gained somewhere between 5 and 7 lbs. My OB's will be very pleased. This is a huge praise! I gotta give a little shout-out to Kristine, an amazing nutritionist who has been so instrumental in helping me eat my way to healthy weight gain!

Just Breathe...

Today things are already off to a rough start, but i'm hopeful! I didn't sleep well at all last night and this morning i'm just feeling downright anxious. We had our hospital tour yesterday - making all things real - and i'm 32 weeks. This little goose needs to bake a while longer, but I can't help feeling "ready" to hold and cuddle him. I just can't wait to see his face. I'm thinking about God and how you can't see him but you can feel him. Sometimes you question if he's really there. I know he is. I feel him all around me and see the marvelous works of his hands! Our baby (surprise name) boy is sort of making me feel like that, too. I feel him, I know he's there but I just can't wait to see him! Last night he had the hiccups when I went to bed and then again this morning around 6:45 a.m. Not sure what I ate yesterday, but something that perhaps didn't settle right with him! That's the first time i've ever felt him hiccup. :) Kinda cute! I actually broke down this morning in tears and asked Aaron to go into work late. Yeah, i'm completely off my rocker. Then I caught myself...."No!" I said. And I wondered why I actually asked him to go into work late just because I can't get my crazy, pregnant, emotional self together. I'll post again later with a picture! Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7-8

The Familiar Anticipation

One of the first pictures Aaron and I ever took together. :)

I've recently been reflecting on the parallels of this time of my life with another. Four years ago during this same time, I was anticipating a meeting with Aaron. See, we had started emails and phone chats more than a year before we actually got to see each other in person (I hadn't seen him since before I moved away to LA for college.) During the summer of 2006, Aaron sent me an email saying that he would be deployed to the middle east for 6 months that fall. At the same time, I was finishing up my final semester at Azusa Pacific. We both had important things to accomplish. From September to March, I hung on every word from every phone call and every word from every email. I didn't know how life would turn out, but I trusted everyday that God had a divine plan.


I had struggled through some things from my past through college and found it difficult to comprehend if reconnecting with the man I would soon marry could really be happening right then. But it was! I graduated from Azusa in December of 2006 and moved back home with my parents. I got a good job that I enjoyed and continued to stay in touch with Aaron...knowing that I was falling in love with him, but not certain of his intentions. In January of 2007, I planned a trip out east to attend my college roommate Julie's wedding. I talked this over with Aaron because I knew it'd be a great opportunity to see him since he was stationed at Andrews AFB. So I booked my flight into DC with plans to visit Aaron and attend my girlfriend's wedding with him as my guest in Pennsylvania.


Aaron returned from his deployment in early March, but I still had to wait to reunite with him until June 1. I remember the months that followed feeling long and I was anxious, but now it seems like a blur! June came and I still remember the moment I walked off the plane and saw him: khaki shorts, flip flops and his striped blue polo. For the record, he can still recall what I was wearing, too. I knew this trip would define our relationship and it did. Aaron told me that he was in love with me and I moved out to DC that August to be closer to him. We were engaged 7 months later and married 13 months after we were reunited on that hot, humid day in early June. Yes, we planned our wedding in 4 months!


Now I sit here realizing that in a similar timeline, we anticipate the meeting of our precious son. It's March 25 and he's due to arrive in early June. I can't help but smile as I realize God's sense of humor in all of this. I actually love it. And I love my life with Aaron and the blessing of our son. I am so thankful for how things have turned out and I look forward to growing in patience (yet again!) over these final two months.

Write a Book?

I reconnected with a friend from my past the other day and discovered that she's pregnant with a boy and due just a few weeks before me. It's times like this that I LOVE Facebook! We started talking about our pregnancy experiences and also realized that we've had a very similar journey. So we joked about writing a book that we'd title, "The No BS Book about Pregnancy." What do you think? Maybe I should google that one to make sure no one else has come up with the same genius idea. Please know that I write this post with a VERY light heart as I recount the past 7 (approx.) months and realize that no matter what, I am SO BLESSED to be carrying this precious little baby! But let me give you a few reasons why I think a book like this would be funny and encouraging for first time pregnant mamas who thought those 9 months would be sweet, beautiful and perhaps even glamorous (wishful thinking!). Maybe if I'd had a book like this, I would have accepted much earlier that I was pretty normal rather than abnormal (ha!). A lot of these things MOST women just do not talk about! But leave it to me (of course) to be shame free!:

1. Morning sickness is not just for the morning. You can have it anytime, all day!

2. Leaking boobs are not just for breast-feeding mamas. Oh no, that can begin much earlier.

3. One word: CONSTIPATION!

4. And another that quite possibly follows: Hemorrhoids. Oh yeah, nice.

5. Gas that comes out either end or often both at the same time! Your husband never thought you had it in you.

6. Passing out. It can happen anytime, anywhere. But I don't recommend throwing up all over your neighbor's living room right after you come back to. Ugh. (But I DO recommend having really sweet friends who don't hold it against you!)

7. Dizzy spells. It easily makes you want to throw up just watching someone turn in a circle.

8. Seriously MESSED UP eye sight! If you have 20/20 vision before pregnancy, enjoy it while it lasts! Though it often returns back to normal once the baby is born (so i'm told.)

9. Discovering that even your stretchy sports bra no longer fits. I never thought I'd have to "stuff" myself into something...if you're catching my drift. Wow, I almost can't decide if I might actually be excited about this!

10. Last, but not least, my personal "favorite." You might pee a little in your pants everytime you sneeze. Just sayin'.

So I have others I could list, but I thought I'd keep it to the "Top 10" for now. Thankfully I can laugh about most of these things now. Pregnancy is such a unique experience that I would go back and do again because I love my kid so much! Though let me be real folks, I won't be begging to do it again anytime too soon!

28 Weeks...Frustration!

Today I had an OB appointment that didn't quite turn out how I had hoped! First, I did my glucose test which was actually nowhere near as exciting as I thought it'd be (ha!) Instead of peaking my interest, I was left with an awful tummy ache for most of the day. That stuff is
S-U-G-A-R-Y! Yuck! But i'm really not worried about my results. Then I met with the OB who is disappointed in my weight gain. Ugh. What's new? I've only gained 9 lbs. to date. I know what some reading this might be thinking...."Celebrate it!" "Feel lucky!" Because these are a few of the comments i've already heard. But the reality is it isn't good! Either end of the spectrum isn't good whether it's gaining too much weight or too little. I've just really struggled with pregnancy. I was sick for 24 whole weeks! Somtimes so sick I couldn't get out of bed. The doctor said this is why I haven't gained enough. Really....you think?!? But then why must doctors make you feel "abnormal" about it?? Now i'm just venting my frustration. The good news is that she measured me and said our boy is measuring spot on. So perhaps I haven't gained weight, but it seems that he has! Praise God. He must have been thinking, "Don't make my mommy feel bad" because as soon as she put her hand on my stomach to check his heart rate, he gave her a nice kick! Don't get me wrong though, all of my OB's are wonderful so i'm really not taking this personal. I know she's just trying to make sure we're all healthy over here! They're gonna check me again at 32 weeks and possibly order an ultrasound (if I still haven't gained much more weight) just to make sure things are ok. So we will be praying A LOT about this between now and then! But like I said, I think he's completely fine.

On the up-side, we got our stroller today and it ROCKS! We went with the UppaBaby Vista. I won't go on and on about all the millions of reasons why we love this stroller, but feel free to look it up if you're curious! And we were super excited to find a 2010 version instead of the 2011, so we did NOT pay $700 for our's! We paid half that. Yeah! I can't believe the price difference between the two and the features are completely the same. The major reason we love this stroller is because of its bassinet feature. Our little guy will not have the luxury of having a nursery (our place is a very small one bedroom!) so he will be sleeping next to our bed in the bassinet for a few months until we can get into a bigger place. Yes, a small place, but our hearts have so much love for this kid and that's all he needs!

Showered with so much love!

The planners: Charlie, Chel and Brigitte
Girls just wanna have fun! Monique, baby Arianna, Anne, Brigitte, Chel, me, Charlie, Rebecca, baby Asa and Michelle :)
That friend you see on the far left looking so innocent holding her baby?! She shoved that cupcake in my face. Mmmmhmmmm!

How cute is this?!?

Seriously! Where do I even begin to share about all the FUN we had! I'm always thankful for the amazing girlfriends I have, but it's also overwhelming at times...in a good way! These girls are like sisters! Charlie, Chelsea and Brigitte planned this amazing shower for me and my boy. Charlie and Chel are both elementary school teachers - Can you tell? Brigitte is a graphic designer. They are so creative! The thing I love is that I look at this group of women and realize that the story I share with each of them is nothing short of an act of God. I met each of them in such unique ways. That never happens by accident! I feel soooooooo blessed!

Just Wondering...

How does a pregnant lady go from looking like this to THIS in a matter of about 1.5 weeks?! Amazing! This kid is GROWING! I was really hungry when Aaron took this picture and sometimes that makes my tummy look larger, but now it just sounds like i'm making excuses for my "large load." :) I'm almost 27 weeks and feeling pretty good. Thank goodness the second half of pregnancy seems much better for me than the first!

Yes, I am THAT mom.

...You know, that one that tries to do everything "just right" the first time around. Yeah, the one that makes all the "seasoned" mamas laugh (because they really know that nothing ever goes the way you imagine it!) and the whole reason why the book, "I was a really good mom until I had kids" hit the market. Well, today my OB gave me the paperwork for the hospital i'm delivering at. Though i'm not even quite 26 weeks, apparently the hospitals need the paperwork at least 60 days in advance. So what did I do after getting that paperwork? Went home and filled it out right away. I also admit that I started packing my hospital bag. Ok there. I outed myself.

First Baby Shower

Aaron getting all prepped for diaper changes!

Aaron with his boss, AnnMarie

Our diaper cake, courtesy of Jen!

Some of the finished burp cloths i've been sewing (plus a few more patterns i'll be using.) One side is a cloth diaper, the other a fun pattern. Totally not necessary but oh-so-fun!

More hand-made burp cloths and blankets made for me by friends Jen Naipo - from back home in Olympia, and Brooke Johnson - the wife of a Major Aaron works with.

The dress I made...perfect for pregnancy and after!

Wow, first off, we are SO BLESSED. We couldn't ask for better friends than the ones we have. Jen, the wife of one of the Colonels Aaron works with, planned this amazing lunch/brunch baby shower for us and it was a blast! She even had a friend make an incredible peanut butter chocolate chip cheese cake. Um, YES! Aaron's boss was in town for meetings, so it was wonderful that she could be there. Almost everyone from his "section" in his office came to celebrate our little boy! Even a few wives came that we had never met before. It meant so much to us and we are thankful for the support system we have here. It's true that the people, not the place, always make home feel like home. We got set-up with a few things off our registry that we need and I have to say, it's fun (and strange at the same time) perparing for this kid! Sometimes I still can't believe i'm actually a mom. I had always hoped that one day i'd be preparing for this and here I am! Aaron is going to be such an incredible dad, too. Just last night, baby was moving around a ton. He likes to curl up on my left side in the evenings after dinner time. It makes my stomach look very lop-sided. Then I poke at my stomach just to mess with him. Aaron gives me a hard time for doing this, but seriously!? If you had a person growing inside your stomach, you'd mess with him too! It's amazing. Last night Aaron put his ear/head on my stomach and the little guy gave him a nice swift kick! Aaron jumped up and had such a big smile on his face. He loves it. :) We can't wait to kiss his sweet face!

25 Weeks!

My sister asked for a "belly shot" so this one's for her. :) It's hard sometimes being far away from family because we miss out on many of the small, everyday things. Our little guy is definitely growing! Just this morning he was moving around so much that it looked like he wanted to jump out from the middle of my stomach. It cracks me up! And I love how it feels especially since he isn't quite big enough to kick my ribs yet - or else he's just being really nice to his mama! I think I've finally started gaining a little weight. I saw my general practitioner last week and if the scale there is right, i've put on about 8 pounds now. Yeah!

Today marks one week since I stopped taking my anti-nausea prescription. Zofran has helped me in many ways. For the past nine weeks its kept me from throwing up so I could keep food down. BUT, it brought with it many "fun" side effects. Sorry for TMI but it created terrible constipation. Since pregnancy already causes that, let's just say it was an interesting 9 weeks. Ready to put that behind me! I've felt nauseous off and on here and there, but i've promised myself I won't run for the Zofran unless I feel the puke coming up. It's better for me and our son to be off meds. Right now i'm battling a little cold so I feel somewhat out of it. Though overall, I seem to be finally gaining some energy. My dr. found that my iron is still a bit low, so i've started taking an extra supplement. I wondered from the beginning if this was part of my problem with feeling dizzy, but oh well. Better to try late than never! My food cravings are pretty minimal but I can't seem to get enough citrus! I'm obsessed with grapefruit specifically. I eat a half grapfruit just about everyday. I'm also loving Kashi brand foods right now. They have these meals I get from Whole Foods that have no additives or preservatives. They're low sodium and packed with protein, whole grains and veggies (quinoa, kale, etc.) I love them! Also, homemade taco salad seems to be a favorite. It's a good thing that Aaron loves all the things i'm craving these days! My weakness this week has been girl scout cookies....the caramel/coconut ones. What can I say! They are heavenly!

I have an OB appointment this Friday and I think i'll be sent for my glucose test. I'm very curious about it! I hear it tastes like really high-sugar soda. If that's true, it'll be a shock to my taste buds because soda has never been a part of my diet, let alone really sweet drinks.

I've started a few sewing projects and organizing some things for the baby, so my next post will be pictures and updates on all of that. I love crafting!

Who Will You Love?

Romans 12:9 "Don't just pretend to love others, really love them."

Sometimes it seems easier to "love" others half-way and it becomes like fake love. It's easiest to respond this way to people who annoy, frustrate and make our lives more challenging. It's amazing how I learn to love the ones in my life better who are easy to love by practicing genuine love on people in my life who are difficult to love.

I have been so encouraged this morning is many ways after reading Romans chapter 12. God's word comes to life for me every time I open it. It truly is a changing from the inside out. Physically, I wake up most mornings feeling "fluish." Between allergies, nausea and exhaustion, it feels like I have to literally "peel" myself out of bed. Please don't mistake me for being a complainer, i'm simply sharing my reality. But this morning my devotion from "Jesus Lives" by Sarah Young (I highly recommend "Jesus Calling" also) spoke to living in constant hope. Because hope transcends our circumstances. Whether we are sad or happy, broken or encouraged, the hope we have in the saving grace of God through Jesus Christ is the joy we have to keep us going through another day. And simply calling upon the name of Jesus has healing power. I am being honest with you when I say that I already feel a whole lot better this morning...even physically. My body is weak, but my hearts desire to serve and honor God is still strong. And through that committment to my father, HE is my strength. Not my own body. Praise God for His never-ending faithfulness even through the daily struggles of this life.

Romans chapter 12 - probably one of my new favorite passages in the Bible. And to think i've read it before, it means so much more to me now than at other times. That's how God's word comes to life!

Let's Get Real

My body does not love pregnancy. There. I said it. I actually don't feel bad anymore saying that, because it has NOTHING to do with how much I love my baby and carrying him in my body. But let's get real here, folks. I have been sick....real sick for most of my pregnancy so far. I'm still having to take a strong prescription to keep me from tossing my cookies all day long. On top of that, i'm tired all the time. Who said the 2nd trimester is the most wonderful?? Not me. And i've come to grips with the fact that for most people, that's true. But not for me. And you know what? I'm ok with that. Every kid is different, so every pregnancy is most certainly different. I have still been very dizzy and experiencing heart palpatations that are rather scary and uncomfortable. And for the 3rd time, I went to the ER last week. My experience was horrific after the dr. got all scientific and said I might need a CT-Scan to check for a blood clot in my lung (long story, won't get into it) that (in his very words) "could quite possibly kill your baby." What?!? Who says that to a first time pregnant woman who is alone in an ER with no support. Why would I get a CT-Scan when you're telling me it could kill my baby?! Terrible. I don't know how true all that was, but I didn't have the scan, though I did have a panic attack following that conversation. Not one of my proudest moments. It was a memory I would be OK with soon forgetting.

Instead, i'm now under the supervision of a cardiologist. I really don't think anything's seriously wrong with my heart, but my OB sent me to this guy just to be sure. So i'm now the proud owner - for the next two weeks - of a constant heart monitor. I am also having an ultrasound of my heart on Wednesday. Furthermore, i'm under strict orders not to get behind the wheel of a car until all of this testing is done. It's all for the good, but this certainly has and continues to be a long journey. Praise Jesus that our boy is doing perfectly fine. It really does appear to be me. And who knows, perhaps they will just confirm what I said at the beginning of this post - That my body does not love pregnancy. The funny thing is, I would do this all over again. That's just how much I love my baby (and future child(ren)) already! It's amazing.

I am constantly reminded of the very heart of God in all of this. Of all His creation, He loves PEOPLE the most. If He didn't, Jesus life and death wouldn't have been necessary. So i'm comforted in knowing that I am held by the creator of the universe and so is my son. God knew how my journey would go, but thought it important enough to create this little one and choose me to carry him and be his mother. I just know God's plan for our baby in marvelous and i'm overjoyed just thinking about it. Who will he be? What will he become? I look forward to sharing with him this experience and using it as one of many examples to show him how faithful and wonderful our father God truly is.

I've begun journaling privately and digging into scripture more than I have before. It's true that the word of God is living and active and brings comfort to the broken. I am experiencing it ever so deeply (Hebrews 4:12). I know that I will be able to look back and continue to see the constant faithfulness of God. That's why I want to journal. I want to give God all the glory for how he works through me. And I will learn just a bit more about His very character through this process...the only thing my heart really longs for.

We Still Have a BOY!

"Hey, look over there, Mom and Dad!"

Uh, DEFINITELY a boy.

He looks so sweet and cuddly!

Aaron and I had the most amazing 20 week ultrasound this morning! Our tech was so sweet as was the radiologist. They spent about 20 minutes capturing pictures and letting us watch our little man! It made me cry, laugh and want to hold him! I can't wait. They said everything looked absolutely wonderful - Baby boy Meredith is good and healthy! My favorite part is when he stuck his tongue out at us...not sure that will be as funny in a few years. Hmmm..... ;)

I feel so blessed that God chose me to be this little one's Mama!